whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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