Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
