i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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