I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
