my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
