chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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