I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
