I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
