He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize