i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
