Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
