I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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