it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it hurts more in the daytime
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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