OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
