two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
