Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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