You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
