She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
