Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
