His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
