You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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