i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
