i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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