Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
