i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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