I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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