Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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