I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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