i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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