I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
whose parrot is this?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize