My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
