I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
