She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Randomize
