Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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