found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
