You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
