i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, beer. Big fan.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
