Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
