If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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