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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its my greatest physical accomplishment

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits

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