it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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