HIV tests are more positive than that guy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You took a bar mat shot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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