I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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