overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
