dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
