i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
