I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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