he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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