you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
