the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
