Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
