you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
