you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
