I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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