I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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