I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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