if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
