Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
