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Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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