either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish you could order shots online.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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