be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
