The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
