I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize