It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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