"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
