I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
