Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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