We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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