Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
