There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
