3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
