Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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