I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
